


Silent war

by little_frodo



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Drunkenness, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:49:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_frodo/pseuds/little_frodo
Summary: Jax, Opie and one small Moment of realization.





	Silent war

His head was full with thoughts, strange thoughts about what might have been wrong with him. What was wrong with this situation, this whole thing going on inside him.

He wasn’t able to keep his mind clear, not at all. Not since days, since weeks. Since this one night where he had lost his view for what was right to do and what was right _to feel_.

 

_Opie laughed, clear and loud, while Jax was lying on his back now, right on the bed. He was too drunk to walk properly; Opie who had brought him home was amused by how clumsy Jax acted._

_“You shouldn’t drink so much, brother.” He said, smiling at Jax who had his hands buried in his now wild, blonde hair; he exhaled deeply._

_“I… I’m not_ that _drunk.” Jax answered, concentrated on sounding completely normal although he knew it didn’t worked out. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the dizziness that was a thousand times worse than being on his feet._

_Opie laughed again, coming closer to the bed on which Jax was lying – Jax felt his gaze on his body and opened his eyes, locking eyes with Opie._

_“You are. I can see it… and hear it.” was Opie’s soft answer, and Jax smiled a bit. Not too much because he thought it might look weird._

_“You don’t… you’re just… I dunno… can I get a hug or something?” Jax mumbled. Not loud, but kind of loud enough to make Opie hear it._

_Opie smiled at his drunk brother – still watching him, and when Jax opened his arms, Opie let out a soft gasp before he finally laid down next to Jax, grabbing the younger man’s shirt and pulled him into a hug._

_It was weird – Jax couldn’t describe it differently. Sure, they had hugged each other before and even kissed each other shortly on the mouth when they were drunk – nothing new. But this here – this felt new to Jax. He felt Opie’s heart beating next to his, felt the muscles that were surrounding him, the warmth that Opie offered with his body. Jax nestled his face in Opie’s shoulder, breathing in the good smell that was there. He felt completely safe._

_“Man, you’re weird today. Is everything alright?” Opie whispered, and Jax simply nodded. He didn’t wanted to talk right now. This was too good._

_“Alright, if you say so… But I need to go now. Donna waits.”_

_Jax felt his heart aching lightly at the word Donna and tried to ignore it, like he always did. When Opie was right about to stand up, Jax suddenly gripped his underarm._

_“Don’t.” he said, but Opie simply smiled. “No, Jax, I really need to go. See you tomorrow, then.”_

_But Jax refused to let Opie go, not like that. And before Opie could say anything more, Jax also stood up, reached for Opie’s face, clasps both of his hands around Opie’s face, pulled the man so close it hurt and kissed him so deeply and hungry that he wasn’t able to breathe._

_It was only one deep kiss, probably two, or three, Jax didn’t know anymore, but after that, he leaned his forehead against Opie’s and whispered: “Now you can go.” before he turned around and went to bed again._

_The next day, Opie wasn’t at the club, claiming he was sick._

 

And this was it. Jax had thought about this since such a long time, and although he and Opie talked again and acted like nothing happened, it was burning deep down in Jax’ body. Whenever he and Opie locked gazes for a moment, he could feel it. The bittersweet feelings that Opie’s eyes were sending, all drown by the fact that he didn’t wanted to hurt Donna. And Jax knew: it would never be how he imagined it to be. It was a silent fight, a silent war.

 


End file.
